when the naysayers come into my life they are like quicksand,
into this whirlpool of hate, anger and doubt.
and in my moments of quick, instant rage, i respond
i fling myself into this self-negating, self-destructive nothingness,
letting their twisted betrayals
split open my flesh
but if i throw myself into this churning hole,
of scalding anger and hate,
can i ever laugh deep from my belly,
speak with light in my eyes,
lay in tenderness with my lover,
and feel the weight of my body
deliver truth to my words
with no fear
how can i
feel my breath reach down
to sit at the bottom of my heart
all that is true,
about this life?
those whom i once loved,
i cannot trade you life
for a moment of righteous rage.
you don't deserve it.
i need to let go,