Welcome to my first post

My friend encouraged me to start a blog about these immense emotions and struggles I am facing at my job and how it ties into my life.
To boil it down, I am surrounded by Violence, violence, violence.
This past week, I learned about the 5 suicides of gay boys, victims of bullying. Who knows how many more queer and trans folk killed themselves this week
This past week, I learned about the torture of 3 gay Latino men in the Bronx, NY. This was an organized crime, premeditated and planned to humiliate, rape and torture.
This past week, I learned about the hunting of Afghans by the US soldiers who tried to make it seem like they were defending themselves when they were actually out hunting natives.
This past week, there was a Domestic Violence situation that happened right outside my house. A man struck down a woman who hit her head on the ground. I ran out with my friends to intervene, ready for a punch to my face.
This past week, a sorority girl was found dead outside a UW frat house. They declared it suicide though I dont believe it. At all.
This past week, I was pushed to work faster than I have ever had, like a poop-cleaning machine, like an object, brown and meaningless in a Christian nursing home.
This past week, the nurse screamed at me in front of everyone, misunderstanding and misconstruing what I was saying and treating me like a 5 year old needing discipline.
This past week, I got exhausted and slept for hours and hours and hours to try to block out the misery and pain surrounding me. To reproduce my labor. To be able to go back tomorrow to work, to make ends meet.
This past week, violence surrounded me and I felt like puke, disemboweled, disgusted and worthless.


Welcome to my diary.
Disparaged: Regard or represent as being of little worth


CNA: Nursing Assistant Certified 


Commodifed care: turning care and love into capitalist properties for the purpose of gaining $$, not for the purpose of support and relationship-building


Immigrant: Me, and 95% of my co-workers